a month of birthdays

At homework club we have a party for each of the kid's birthdays as they come throughout the year. Right now, as we’re wrapping up the program for the season we’re spending these last couple weeks celebrating all of the kids who have birthdays during the summer. It means making a lot of birthday cake… but it’s been a lot of fun too. 

Birthday Party #1 was earlier last week.  We were partway through the program when I left to get the snack ready in the kitchen upstairs. I hadn’t made it very far down the hall when I heard the door slam behind me and a pair of feet running to catch up. I looked and wasn’t surprised to see Karina*. 

“Where are you going?” the little girl demanded. 

  “I need to get some food ready for snack,” I explained. “I’ll be right back.”

 “I’m going to help.”

“There really isn’t much to help with right now,” I replied. “You need to stay in the program with the rest of the kids.”

“No, I’m coming! I want to help.”

“Karina, I already said-“

“No, Please… Can I come… just to talk?”

How could I say no?

Another volunteer came along and the three of us headed into the kitchen where we spent the next half hour.  We decorated the cake and talked about guitar lessons, swimming lessons, what Karina wants to be when she grows up, and how to tell when pasta is done cooking.  

Karina is definitely not always the easiest girl to work with- she’s one of the more difficult kids at our programs.  But every so often she drops the defensive wall she hides behind and you’re able to see that she’s just a little girl looking for someone to love her.  That afternoon was one of those rare times. 

Last week was another birthday party… this time for one of our girls from the Leaders in Training program.  She’s been attending camp for a while now and I’ve had the privilege of getting to know her more over the past couple years.  It’s been amazing to watch her grow in her faith as she takes on new responsibility and leadership roles.  The strength she displays through her everyday life inspires me. 

Six of us girls got together and met up at the bowling alley. We were prepared with cupcakes and brownies and ready to have a great time. However, I was slightly unprepared for the realization that 10-pin bowling is indeed very different from my usual 5-pin.  “This just has more pins,” I thought to myself as I walked up to take my turn.  Not quite. The bowling ball was so heavy I could hardly even pick the thing up, much less throw it.  Once I finally managed to get it properly fitted into my hand, I had another problem: my fingers were stuck in those three holes and it took no small effort to get them back out again. Needless to say, my bowling experience wasn’t entirely successful. 

But it really didn’t matter- the night with my girls was awesome. 

I think sometimes I start to take for granted the opportunities I have to build into the kid’s lives.  When I see them so many times in a week, I forget what a privilege it is. And as the months slip by I realize I won’t have those opportunities forever.   

I want to make it count. 

photo editing creds Elyse!

I stand on Grace

Lately, God has been showing me just how messed up we are.

Hold on a minute while I explain. 

I’ve been coming into contact with people from all kinds of walks of life- people of different ages, cultures, backgrounds and incomes.  And over the past few weeks God’s been opening my eyes to see them in a different way. And I’m realizing- that no matter what kind of a front we may put up, underneath it all every one of us has issues. We are messed up. 

We’re broken and we’re insecure.  We’re players, fakers and manipulators. We’re addicted.  We’re proud, greedy and afraid.  We’re abused and we’re abusers.  We’re selfish, hypocrites, and willing to put anyone down to make ourselves feel good.  We’re failures.  We live for momentary pleasure. We’re vain and apathetic.  We’re lonely and sorry for ourselves.  We’ll go anywhere to find the attention and love that we’re craving. We’ll try anything to drown the pain.  

The more I recognized the issues in others, the more I saw them in myself. It forced me to look inward, at my own heart and realize that I’m in the exact same situation. 

And if that was the end, it would be pretty depressing.

But then this amazing thing happens- God’s grace comes rushing in.  Over and underneath, inside and in-between.  And it covers everything.  It looks at our past and it loves us anyway.  It washes our sin away with the blood of Jesus.  It strips away our guilt and replaces it with forgiveness.  It takes our weakness and turns it into strength.

I don’t deserve any of it, but He gives it to me anyway. 

Tied to the beauty of God’s grace came the realization that without it, I am nothing.  Trying to serve Him on my own strength is pointless, because without Him I’m just a messed up human.  Apart from Him, I can do nothing.  Why have I kept clinging to my self-righteous rags, instead of allowing His grace to take over my life? 

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.” [Ephesians 2:4-7]

It’s taken me so long - but I think I am finally beginning to grasp just a little bit of those verses mean. 

I stand on Grace alone. 

Easter Weekend I had the opportunity to speak at a church retreat held at Lake Simcoe. A breathtaking view!

Winter Rush

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Sometimes it’s hard to know just what to write.

The past month has been busy! Between computer issues, battling some sickness and then getting caught up in a whirlwind of retreats and speaking engagements I haven’t had a lot of time or energy to write.

Where to start?

L: Sarah always makes me smile :) Centre: the two cutest best friends ever  R: I met Maria two years ago at my very first March Break.

 

 

 

March Break was a really great week of camp and was full of opportunities to minister to the kids and pour into their lives.  Registration was overflowing with 40+ kids and camp was packed.  I was overseeing the Junior side of the program (ages 7-9), and a Senior program was going on simultaneously (ages 10-12). It was a new role for me but I can honestly say that I really enjoyed it, and was privileged to work alongside some amazing counselors.

The weather was fantastic and we were able to spend a lot of time outside. The basketball court was in use almost constantly… I’m pretty sure that if we let them the kids would play ball all day.

some of the beautiful faces I got to see every day

Our theme for the week was “All of Me”. We spent time talking about how God not only accepts “all of me” despite my mistakes, but He wants to use “all of me”.  It’s not good enough to only live for God during one week of camp a year…  He asks us to stand for Him every day for the rest of our lives.

Thursday night after chapel there was an opportunity for campers to come and talk with one of the counselors and to be prayed for.  It was encouraging to see just how many responded… and then in conversation with them, to hear how God was moving in their hearts.

 

Of course, with any great week of camp come things we don’t expect. Thursday night around 10:30, the kids were just finishing devotions and getting into bed when without warning the power went off.  Once the kids stopped screaming long enough for us to convince them that everything was going to be okay, we sent them back to their rooms to get into bed and passed around the few flashlights that we had. 

As chaotic as it was, it’s always those crazy-insane-but-really-funny moments that remind me just why I love camp. 

Winter Rush 2012

But the past month and a half hasn’t been easy. I can’t lie. 

I’ve struggled a lot emotionally, fighting to put all the pieces together.  Because sometimes I don’t understand what God is doing. And I get exhausted trying to figure everything out on my own strength...

But the whole time God is there, waiting for me just to let go and give it to Him. 

I’m still learning.

 Every day He’s carrying me when I don’t think I can go any further… giving me the grace I need for to make it though the day. Every day He's teaching me to trust Him... trust that He has plan, even in midst of the chaos.  

But I’ll have to wait to see it.

You Said

If you were at the Battle for Children youth event last Saturday night, then you know what an awesome evening it was. And if you weren’t, well, you should have been.

 About 50-60 youth came out, all representing some of the Filipino churches in the GTA.  It was great- the whole place was packed with so much energy.  CEF’s Youth and Urban Ministry Director, Ivhan, shared about the need that exists right here in Ontario for children to hear the gospel and challenged the youth to consider spending the summer serving with us.  A group of CYIA volunteered their evening to participate, and we each had a chance to share our testimonies from summer ministry and what God had done in our lives through it. 

The response afterwards was really, really encouraging.  A lot of youth came up to us afterwards expressing their interest and asking questions- and at the end of the night all of the applications we had out on the table we gone.  How many of the applications will come back? I guess we’ll have to see what God has planned. 

clockwise: Josh, Nicole, Laurita, and myself

top left: Ivhan top right: teaching one of our summer songs

The thing that stuck out to me the most from the whole evening was one of the songs we sang during the worship time before our presentation.  It was the first time I’d heard “You Said” by Hillsong. I’ll post the lyrics here:

You said, Ask and you will receive
Whatever you need
You said, Pray and I'll hear from heaven
And I'll heal your land

You said Your glory will fill the earth
Like water the sea
You said, Lift up your eyes
The harvest is here, the kingdom is near

You said, Ask and I'll give the nations to you
O Lord, that's the cry of my heart
Distant shores and the islands will see
Your light, as it rises on us

I stopped for a moment while we were singing: I had never really thought of that before. God says He will give us the nations!  Then I was hit with another thought: have I ever asked God for the nations?

How many times, I wondered, do we miss seeing God work in our lives simply because we don't ask?

I think I forget how big God is sometimes.  My prayers are limited to asking God to bless my day, my family, and my friends... what if the church around the world began asking God to give us the nations? God says that the fields are ready for harvest! "...therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest." 

He just wants us to come before Him and ask.

“If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”

1 Chronicles 7:14

The CEF team and some of the amazing people who helped coordinate the evening